Ephesians 5:33, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
When it comes to conflict in marriage, an "I must win" mindset makes one spouse the winner, and one the loser. But in reality, if one of you loses, you both lose. That's not what God wants. He designed marriage to be a winning relationship! Therefore, commit to the following the "10 Commandments of a Fair Fight": 1. THOU SHALL NOT USE ABSOLUTES. Don't use terms such as "always" or "never." 2. THOU SHALL NOT BE HISTORICAL. Don't bring up past conflicts. Stay on point with the current discussion. 3. THOU SHALL NOT NAME-CALL. For example, don't say, "You're acting just like ____!" 4. THOU SHALL NOT COMPARE. It's unfair to compare your spouse to someone else. 5. THOU SHALL NOT THREATEN. Don't hold things over your spouse's head. 6. THOU SHALL NOT INTERRUPT. When your spouse is speaking, be quiet and listen. 7. THOU SHALL NOT GIVE UP. Crash through the quitting points of conflict. 8. THOU SHALL NOT SCORE-KEEP. Remember, you are both on the same team. 9. THOU SHALL NOT PSYCHOANALYZE. Leave the psychology to a licensed Christian therapist. 10. THOU SHALL NOT CHANGE LANES. Stay focused on the current issue. Don't veer off in different directions. Every marriage faces conflict, and disagreements are never fun. But remembering to apply these commandments will allow both of you to fight fair. And in the end, you'll both win again and again!
Post the "10 Commandments of a Fair Fight" somewhere prominent in your home so you can both reference them. Pray together at least two times/week to help you and your spouse remember you are on the same team!
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for setting up marriages to win. Help me to remember the rules of fighting fair so my marriage can glorify You and be a positive example for those around us. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.